The Acrid Smell...

-

Suddenly my world seemed dark

My eyes couldn't see the slightest ray of light.

An acrid smell suffocated me,

And I could not breathe.

There was fire.....

An intense fire all over my face.

The fire, that I could feel,

Consuming me.

Melting away my glass skin

Drop by drop.

Burning my world, all in a moment...

Piercing me with a pain,

That I never knew existed.

I shouted....or, did I???

My lips seemed heavy....

Unable to move, unable to part

And my favourite pink lipstick that I had put on

Was perhaps charred.....forever.

And then the fire dribbled down,

To stab my neck...

My shoulders...

With the rage of a thousand knives,

Reaching down into my flesh

Ruthlessly gnawing away bits of me.

They came up with water and ice....

And I could hear distant sirens

But by then......everything had changed.

One moment, and I wasn't me anymore...


Even my demons were scared

As I faced the mirror for the first time in months.

That face...........was that mine??

Those eyes......those lips.......

And.....and....my nose.....

Shrieking in horror, I tried hiding into the depths of the darkness

That had already flooded my life.

The darkness, that seemed more welcome

Than the broad daylight, that haunted me like a ghost

Mocking at my very existence....

Killing me every moment, 

With my own images, that reflected everywhere I would try to hide.

Images, that I hated to see...

Images, that scared me....

That reminded of my past and my present.

I tried to hide myself behind my veil...

But the wind seldom listened.

I tried to put an end to my miseries....

But Life seldom agreed.

I tried to die.

But.........


And then began my fight...

The fight to live again.

The fight to heal my soul

Broken.

Betrayed.

Charred.

The fight to feel beautiful.

The fight......that nobody knew

The pain....that nobody felt

The tears...that nobody saw

Because it was all mine

And mine alone.

They offered me sympathy

But nobody offered me love.

They offered me condolences

But nobody offered me happiness.

They asked me not to weep

But nobody wiped my tears.

They asked me to stay strong

But nobody told me how.

They were all around me

But I was all alone...

Being stared at, talked about...

Waiting like a phoenix, to rise again, someday.

.

.

.

Today, when I smile at the mirror

Flaunting my favourite outfit,

I find a new me staring back...

A new me, who is imperfectly beautiful.

My disfigured face....

My charred skin...

My new nose..

My new lips.....

They all fit in perfectly with those two eyes

Burning with new dreams.

Burning with self love.

Burning with hopes of starting afresh.

My tears have given place to a newfound fire

That lits up my soul with a new light.

Nightmares don't haunt me anymore,

And people have stopped staring, too.

And yet........

Somewhere, deep down,

Some unfathomed part of my heart

Still lets out a shiver...

Somewhere, some unknown fear still grips me hard,

Whenever I come across that acrid smell.....

The same acrid smell of ACID.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Within My Heart You Live...

-
Image
  Within my heart you live, Even though you stay so far away  Amidst the clouds. Amidst the stars. In the peace of the Heaven, In the presence of the Almighty you had so dearly prayed to all through your little time here. Far away from my mortal eyes, You visit me everyday in my dreams. Waking me up to another new day, Like you always did. Your ideals being my guiding light, Your blessings being my armour, You make your presence felt every moment Even in the void you have created here With your absence. The void...that would never again be filled. The void...that would always bring up so many 'what if's. The void...that would make me miss you a bit more with every passing second, Even though you are right next to me.  "Why did you leave??",  I wish I could ask like a naive child, who is so unaware of the ultimate truth of Life. I wish I could make you stay a bit more longer, if not, forever. And then I see you Smiling, within me. Running your hand over my head. Comfor
Read more

Dear November...

-
  Dear November, As I stand against the wind, I feel the familiar Déjà vu cruising along, in my veins yet again. The feeling of heaviness….of some incoherent pain….some unknown fear settles around in the air, and I can’t fathom what I am going through. The sky seems empty nowadays, now that the white autumn clouds have left….there is something lonely…some hollowness, amidst all the serenity in the azure that spreads miles above the horizon. Why do you bring this austerity, November??? What is this detachment all about??? Why are you so indifferent to the worldly ties??? Or, is it just because you bring along the season of ‘falls’ with you….and this is what fall is all about??? The pain of losing a beloved…..the realization of how life turns ochre from green…..the seemingly endless wait for the spring to come again…for the flowers to bloom…the sun to smile…the clouds to return….I don’t know, November. You tell me, what is the ‘fall’ all about?? Why does it always bring about this un
Read more

Within the Grave.....

-
 The grave lulled me to sleep in Her lap. Settling over me with an unknown pain, The wilted flowers and the sombre wind seemed heavy... With the weight of the reminder that I was stranded, That I would be forever left here, all alone Far away from the world that I have always held close. Here, in the darkness... Where I could no longer feel the zephyr over my skin, Where I could no longer look up at the stars, Where nothing, but darkness, and more darkness engulfs me I would stay..... Till the last of my bones turn into dust. Till I become a part of the Earth, that had created me. And yet......I feel at peace....... This claustrophobia seems sweeter like never before This darkness seems brighter than the days that I had lived. This cold damp place seems warmer than most homes I have been to. Is this how death feels like??? Light.........painless........detached....... Like the wind that floats over my grave... Like the clouds beyond the horizon...??? Is this how a grave feels like????
Read more